Seeking Stillness

Blea Tarn Reservoir, Lancaster

So far, March has been a busy and at times overwhelming month.  I started a new job at the end of February and getting to grips with my new role and new things to learn has at times felt exhausting.  In between the chaotic day-to-day, I'm seeking stillness and calmness whenever I can.  I have to admit, I'm a natural worrier and learning to de-stress and fully relax doesn't come easily to me.  In fact, I feel like this might be my life lesson for 2017 (there are always things that will keep coming back to bite you unless you tackle them and anxious worrying is definitely a cycle I want to break!)

I guess there is a difference between having those 'tummy butterflies' when you're expanding your comfort zone as opposed to the sheer fear and sometimes irrational panic of stress.  I'm doing my best to try and recognise the difference.

Starting a new job is hard.  There's all the worries about trying to make a good impression, prove your capable and can learn things quickly.  I've also been pushing myself to take more risks with Morganna Designs recently and this has at times felt incredibly scary.  I'm really trying to put myself out there; I'm determined to work on improving my photography and one day I hope that Morganna Designs will be a bigger part of my day-to-day, rather than something I struggle to fit-in around a busy full-time job.

I'm pleased to report that taking risks has paid off and in the last few weeks I've taken part in my first ever #followfriday on Instagram with a lovely group of creative and inspirational lades; I've booked in several mini portrait shoots (from Facebook call-outs) and I've got my first mini wedding shoot booked for April.  It's all great, but also pretty scary at the same time.  I worry about making a fool of myself, not taking great photos and disappointing people.  However, I have to remember that everyone has to start somewhere and everyone has a first step.

In amongst all the busyness, I'm really cherishing the quiet moments and protecting my recharge time.  I've realised that it's just as important to block out time for 'nothing' days as it is for 'busy' days.  I'm adding some fun stuff to my diary (our long weekend to Vienna), editing and re-editing my 'to do' lists down to the essentials and I'm starting to understand the importance of saying 'no'.  Don't get me wrong, things are far from perfectly balanced.  The housework is at the bottom of my 'to do' list, my Instagram posting sporadic right now and my garden neglected.  Some days, I'm just too tired to do anything other than collapse on the sofa with a cosy Miss Marple mystery on the TV.

I don't know about you, but I definitely feel like I'm going through a seasonal transition.  Part of me is clinging to the hibernation of winter and the other part of me is ready for change. 

March - you're full of surprises, please just let me keep up!